Wednesday, April 13, 2011

"All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust."

I definitely have faith, I'm gaining trust, now I'm just waiting on my pixie dust! This is my first ever blog entry (yes you can chuckle).

Almost 2 years ago, God put a vision.... well I guess you could call it more of a mission... into my heart. I have been blessed with being a mother of a special needs child. Her name is Moira Wendy Angela Antal


She was born with a joint disease that requires a life long commitment to therapy, surgeries, appointments, special equipment, the list goes on. But more than anything she requires an extreme emotional investment so I can ensure she is of strong character and can embrace her own essence.


There are millions of other families out there that are like mine. How many of you have heard our stories, admit that it "tuggs at their heart-strings", send a donation or two to a local foundation, or maybe participate in a walk or fundraiser? Those acts of service DO change lives, don't get me wrong. However, the biggest impact is when others see the reality of these testimonies.


Like having to keep food from your child in preparation for her next surgery. Having to travel hours late at night only to wake her up in a hotel room at 3 a.m.

 
Giving magic kisses in the prep room to take her fear away, when you know you're just as scared....


Waiting on edge for hours, not know what the future will hold. Trying to stay awake in a room filled with other families sharing the same anxiety that consumes you. With every sound of a door opening you wonder what news the doctor will bring....


You get called back into the recovery room. The attending nurse verifies the information on your bracelet to confirm it matches the one around your daughter's wrist.



Then the reality starts to sink in, when you are sitting next to your precious child as she sleeps. You give yourself a pep-talk demanding that you muster enough strength to comfort her when she wakes up. Your hands and legs shake with nerves knowing that the first sound you hear will be cries of pain...


After what seemed like an eternity of silence goes by, she starts to stir. You wipe the tears from your face, hold your head high and armor yourself with a smile. "You are her mother, her security, her ROCK... stand firm for her!"

She cries out as though she was dreaming of a struggle. You want to just wrap her up in your arms and bare the pain yourself. The nurses rush in to administer her initial dosage of pain medicine and brief you on what to expect during the next few weeks.


The words are muffled and you can't seem to take in the details because all you can focus on is the cries of your princess. You start to doubt yourself. "Can I do this? Can SHE do this? Why can't I just stay with her here so she has people that are trained to take the pain away?"

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My calling is to have others EXIST INSIDE A TESTIMONY. Experience the organic reality of what truly happens in these lives.

Anyone facing a trial, rather it be cancer, pregnancy, any health obstacle.... there is such a desire to be understood. Things that you couldn't possibly explain to another, these moments captured are your VISUAL TESTIMONY. Pictures not worth just a thousand words... but a million emotions.